Forlorn

Forlorn. And so, he consigns himself to loving her from afar because he is HIV positive. Safe sex practices and procedures are his norms. The personal safety and well-being of others is his rule. Therefore, despite his love for her, he keeps to himself.

From a faraway place, his heart pours out for her. And so, it is that the remote is very close and the near is far away. Sadness is a joy because love is happiness even when it’s concealed. In a secret chamber, her jeweled smile is with him pushing away self-pity and despair.

From afar she is close to him, and therefore he loves her because she is. Within the dimness, there is a vision, and in the light, there is the sparkling of the darkness. And so, it is that far and near as it is combined into one. And in that one he adores her.

The creep is on the crawl, and that does not frighten him. The look is over there yet so close he can feel it. He smiles inwardly to himself as he thinks of her. He thinks of her and smiles privately to himself. The knowledge of his love is not for her. The clue of his enchantment for her is to her an unknown.

A breath away is death. A breath away is life. Paradise is a breath when he sees her. The thought of her empowers and comforts him amid whatsoever is there. There is life, and love, and darkness, and light with HIV. The rude has been put to sleep by the brightness of her adoring. The radiance of her darkness has vanquished the crude.

And so, he conceals his love for her because he is HIV positive. He is HIV positive, and so he veils his love for her. In his heart, he rejoices. In his heart he is sad. She is unaware that he is making loving to her because this is not for her to know. Her peace is in his nostrils, and her safety is in his mind.

The boat is adrift and refuses to sink but the moment will come when it slips away. Today he sees, today he sleeps, and today his love of her is whole and complete. To himself he keeps, and of her he loves, and there you have it for whatever it is worth.