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self-esteem

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The Look

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confusion - the look

The look. Taking an analytical look at myself I am compelled to ask the age-old question “what is the meaning of life?” and specifically, “what is the meaning of my life?”

Is to live in a world of fantasies that I create, or regretting the things that I have said and done the meaning of my life? Or should I dismiss the inquisitive questioning of my being and accept the horrors of the carbon world as a finished and absolute product?

My elevation is the core of my fantasies, soaring higher than the thoughts of the mind can reach, carving out channels of completeness and rivers of fulfillment that the carbon world cannot accommodate.

What is the advantage of wishful thinking when whatever you wish cannot change the past? Possibly you can guide certain aspects of the future with wishful thinking. But the behavior of the cosmos and other people do not perform at your whim, so there are limitations to futuristic wishful thinking.

The look at myself is sobering at best. I see many loves reduced to ash before they can be built to stand by my feelings of inadequacy. I see a career in ruins because of my mistakes and addictive tendencies.

When I take the look at myself using the analytical approach to self-awareness, I see a pot boiling without water and steam not raising because there is nothing to create it.

Be that as it may, a light rain is falling and even though neanderthals have polluted and contaminated everything, the carbon-based is still a sound structure with a day of change to take place.

So, the age-old question as to the meaning of life is somewhat irrelevant as hydrogen atoms have little regards for the various types of plasma. And don’t be carried away by what scientific journals say about the age of this event and how and when that occurred because it is all guesswork.

The look is not to be inflated out of proportion but is to be taken as it is given. The thoughts of a double humpback camel is not the same as the thoughts of a single humpback camel, whatever that means. And assumptions and beliefs are not the same as facts and knowledge.

The meaning of life is defined by the individual and as long as that person does not intentionally cause harm to others it is there flow.

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melanated-7

You Look Like

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melanated- you look like

You look like a flower that has just bloomed, so there is no need to mark or paint yourself which only subtracts from your beauty.

There is little need for decorations because your natural beauty is wonderful. A touchup here and there goes well for accent if you have a mind to be clever.

No need to parlor your beauty because nothing can add to perfection. And this is only speaking of your physical appearance, leaving your mind and spirit out of the equation.

You look like the best moment that I could ever imagine. In a long ago past, I would fall to my knees and worship you as a goddess whenever I saw you. Cosmetics, don’t you dare! Makeup, you have no flare.

you look like

Moreover, I am done for when you speak. I tremble at the knees when you blink your eyes. I feel faint when it look like you are about to smile. I glow when in your presence.

Rumors have it that I am infatuated. Whispers hint that I have lost my mind. But I know that my thinking is clear, and my steps are sure. I know this in a way that is not difficult to explain because I know what you look like to me.

You look like a current of water circulating in a pristine pond. Your vapors spread out like a shower and nourishes the surrounding. Each sip of you is lifegiving and energy uplifting. All goodness bathe in you.

I am not lavishing insincere praise and compliments upon you; however, I do want to further my interests concerning you. You have no need to be pleased by praise or be flattered by admiration.

You can grasp the depth and complexity of what I am saying whereas others may view it as shallow and fawning. Hitting you over the head and dragging you by the hair to the nearest cave would never have entered my mind in a pre-history time because your beauty is too breathtaking to defile.

In the mirror there is an image. The image in the mirror forms a mental picture. The mirror is only a reflection of the image. The picture formed in the mind controls attitude and behavior. The eyes are mirrors, and the image is what the mind, or brain creates.

With that said. All I can say is that you look like, you.

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Mirror

Not Wanting to See People

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Not wanting to see people and not wanting to be seen by people. You reach a point in your life when the years have transformed your appearance where you do not want to be exposed to public view. Being a recluse feels more comfortable to you. Isolation is not what you want but when you look at yourself in the mirror, self-quarantine becomes a viable option.

HatMan - not wanting to see

For a time, you use whatever cosmetic techniques valuable to mask the appearance of aging until you reach the ultimate conclusion that camouflage is hopeless. Disguising yourself is no longer an adequate alternative to reality and acceptance. The years have won. Now what?

You avoid being photographed as much as possible. Little things like taking out the trash becomes a concealment project. A knock at the door or a ring on the phone becomes a compromising endeavor. An underlying sadness is as much a part of your life as age spots, sunspots, liver spots, solar lentigines, solar lentigo, or whatever you choose to call them.

During a video conference you shut the camera off and only use the audio because you do not want to see yourself nor be seen by the other party. You prefer online shopping rather than brick and mortar shopping. You don’t go to the beach and just sit and watch the ocean anymore. The press of time as complete control of your behavior.

There is nothing that you can do. The vibrational frequencies of the universe can care less about you. The grave has a knife and fork waiting for you. The Moon continues to move away from the Earth at about 1.49 inches (3.78 centimeters) per year and your beauty as a youth nor your lack of it in your old age has any influence on this.

But there is hope. In a few million years the Milky Way galaxy will have merged with the Andromeda galaxy and become a Lenticular galaxy having no spiral arms and little star formation that emits various types of radiation which accelerates the aging process.

So, what do I do in the meantime? Stay shut in as much as possible to avoid being seen or stop focusing on my appearance and go about my business? The latter is the wiser but feeling good about oneself is a juggling act that takes extraordinarily little to fall out of balance.

Aging is not a process; it is an ongoing demolition having nothing good that comes out of it. As long as there have been people on the earth they have searched for a fountain of youth or some form of magic elixir to stop the aging bulldozing of beauty and vigor, to no avail. Which leaves me hiding in shadows and quiet to draw little attention.

Mirror

But it’s ok because in my dreams I am not old and gray. As a matter of fact, I cannot recall any dream where I look as I do now. My behavior may not be stellar, but I am always youthful in my dreams.

The only thing that I can make of this is that there is an earth vibrational frequency where time and matter does not exist in the same form as in the carbon-based earth vibrational frequency, and this is the vibrational frequency I will inhabit when carbon-based have disintegrated.

The magic elixir of youth is where the Milky Way galaxy is in the universe and the speed of its rotation that forms the vibrational frequencies that mortals call time and matter.

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